BREAKING NEWS – Maljamar, New Mexico – While speaking to a crowd near an oil field, President Obama states that he is tired of people complaining about gas prices. He said that people should be more resourceful, and then gestured with his thumb for them to hitchhike to get from point A to point B. He added that he would advised anyone who takes his suggestion, to avoid getting in vehicles with strangers that appear to be drifters and or serial killers.