BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – NBC’s “Who Do You Think You Are?”, has decided not to air their recently taped episode of Nancy Pelosi’s genealogy. Through careful research with Ancestry.com, they determined that Pelosi’s biological father was one of the space aliens that survived the 1947 Roswell crash. They also discovered that her obsession with Botox is necessitated from her continuing attempt to appear to look human.