BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A federal court denies U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder an injunction against Toys “R” Us, to stop them from selling Super Soakers. He referred to these water guns as automatic weapons that are currently being used in both oceans on the east and west coast. Holder explained that this is part of the “Fast and Furious” operation, and he plans on issuing arrest warrants for a violent gang of mermaids.