BREAKING NEWS – Allendale, England – Amnesty International as well as other human rights organizations, are stating that a northern British town has crossed a line after several people suffered severe burns on their scalp. The new policy mandates that the residents of Allendale carry fire if they have anger management issues, and the local court deemed them as “hotheads”. A slightly modified policy that has sex offenders holding the fire to a different part of their body, is drawing even sharper criticism.