BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Comcast which owns NBC and E!, has now ordered 24 hour security around Chelsea Handler. An unnamed source for the media giant, stated that they are concerned over her safety after she made a few jokes about “Today Show” host Matt Lauer on her E! show. Top executives at Comcast have privately stated that they are seriously concerned about Lauer’s mindset toward women, because soon after he got Ann Curry fired, they learned that he had in his dressing room, some surgical instruments and several movies and books about “Jack the Ripper”.