BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Donald Trump finally comes clean about his recent dramatic weight gain. He explained that because he’s always looking for the best deal in any transaction, he has been gorging himself at McDonald’s whenever they have “two for Tuesday” cheeseburgers. Trump now says that has the motivation to shed the additional pounds, which was prompted by a call from Rosie O’Donnell telling him that she finds his new look sexy and desirable.