BREAKING NEWS – San Diego, California – San Diego Mayor Bob Filner once again brushed off mounting calls to resign at a news conference, and that he has decided instead to enter what he described as a behavioral counseling clinic for two weeks of “intensive therapy.” The decision came after a total of seven women accused him of harassment and making lewd comments. Filner stated, that with some professional help and constant supervision, he is confident that he can learn how to make his subordinates more receptive to his unwanted sexual advances.