PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!
BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – During an interview on local tv, Police Chief Garry McCarthy states that law enforcement have greatly benefited from the record low sub zero temperatures in Chicago. He explained that cops no longer have to yell the command to potential suspects “freeze”, because they’re doing it on their own.