BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – North Korea is pushing back against a United Nations report on its human rights violations with a report of its own — one that lists “human rights abuses” in the U.S. The official Korean Central News Agency released a news article titled “News Analysis on Poor Human Rights Records in U.S.,” that included allowing people that are overweight unlimited access to fast food restaurants, and refusing to promote height equality by beheading anyone over six feet tall.