BREAKING NEWS – Racine, Wisconsin – The manufacturers of Raid, Johnson Wax, have stated that they will soon be marketing their newest product for controlling pests. They have created a small explosive that is strapped to the back of a roach, that automatically detonates after it enters a nest of roaches in the wall of a house, killing all of the insects in the area. The product was created after they partnered up with two middle eastern businesses called the Al Qaeda Research Group and the Taliban Corporation.