BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Portable toilets will be installed at Wrigley Field for the next two months after some fans waited in line more than an hour to use restrooms during the team’s home opener Sunday night. The problem started when two of the four restrooms on the upper deck, a men’s and a women’s, were shut down by flooding because of a “problem with our plumbing,” according to Cubs spokesman Julian Green. He further explained that Wrigley Field is “very old”, and acknowledged that the construction company who built it, was the exact same company that assembled the Roman Coliseum about 112 years after Jesus was born. He also admitted, that was around the last time the Cubs had a team good enough to get to the World Series.