BREAKING NEWS – Yonkers, New York – An article in Consumer Reports Magazine has announced that hoverboard manufacturers are now advancing a new theory on why so many of them have spontaneously have burst into flames. They would like to conduct a background check on the owners to determine if they were living a very wicked life. And if they were, to consider the possibility that God caused the fire, to warn the owners to repent from their current path, or they would eventually get tossed into hell.
