BREAKING NEWS – Houston, Texas – In front of his capacity filled largest church in America, Joel Osteen announces that God has given him the list of everyone that’s currently in hell. He then added that if anyone has a loved one that’s presently being tormented by flames, for a limited time only and for $1500, Osteen promised to work to get that person rejudged/new trial before God. And for just $800, he said he would do his best to get God to turn the thermostat down on your “dearly departed”, from 10,000 degrees, to just 6500.
