BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The FBI was unable to obtain any of the Blackberry mobile devices Hillary Clinton used while heading the Department of State, according to newly-released documents summarizing the investigation into her handling of classified emails. Clinton aide Justin Cooper recalled at least two instances where he “destroyed” the secretary’s old Blackberry cell phones, according to FBI documents, “breaking them in half or hitting them with a hammer”. Hillary explained that it is not true that they destroyed all of her cell phones exclusively with hammers. She told the FBI that they also used a blow torch, a few of them were run over by trains, and the last one was placed in an Islamic terrorist’s suicide vest.
