BREAKING NEWS – Bozeman, Montana – Todd Orr, a hiker in Montana managed to survive a “Revenant”-style series of attacks — apparently by the same bear — and even drove himself to the hospital for treatment. The first attack unfolded Saturday morning not far from the man’s home in Madison County Sheriff Roger Thompson confirmed. Orr said he unleashed bear spray and rolled into a ball to play dead as the bear chewed on him. The man headed back to the trailhead — but was attacked again. After the second attack, the bear wandered away and the man escaped. While being questioned in the hospital by police Orr reluctantly admitted that he provoked both attacks by hurling insults at the grizzly like, “Hey Yogi, you and Boo Boo would make some nice rugs”, and “Smokey the Bear was a transgender arsonist!”
