BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – U.S. Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood is seen walking past four of his employees that are currently in a labor dispute, that is now involving the National Labor Relations Board and the ACLU. The NLRB is trying to determine if nonhumans fall under their jurisdiction, and the ACLU has taken the position, that calling them “crash test dummies” is racist and demeaning, and said they should be referred to as “sudden impact specialists”.