BREAKING NEWS – Atlanta, Georgia – CNN has issued a public apology regarding Hurricane Harvey. They initially warned that people should evacuate every “golf course”, but after the storm made landfall, they said they meant the “Gulf Coast”. The president of CNN Jeff Zucker stated in a press release, “I would like to think that intelligent people figured out early on that as usual, we got the story wrong. However, we are in no way, shape, or form, responsible for individuals gullible enough to have any level of trust in our reporting. To have faith in our accuracy in light of our reputation, is borderline insane.”