BREAKING NEWS – Ankeny, Iowa – Likely GOP presidential candidate Congressman Ron Paul from Texas, who has a reputation for opposing any U.S. intervention overseas, stated that there is no way he would have employed the same tactics it took to kill Osama bin Laden. He went on to say, that if he were president when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor in 1941, he would not have sent troops to Japan unnecessarily risking American lives, instead he would have immedaitely banned the import of all Sony products and Nissan cars.