BREAKING NEWS – Phoenix, Arizona – At the Governor’s Volunteer Awards luncheon, Jan Brewer states that President Obama’s comment, that republicans will only be happy after the southern Arizona border has a moat filled with alligators, was unacceptable. A spokesman for the governor said that she is now re-accessing her position after discovering that Obama has sent heavy equipment operators to the border to start digging, and a team of animal trappers to the Florida Everglades.