BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – Disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein and his estranged wife, fashion designer Georgina Chapman, have agreed to a divorce settlement. In the papers, he accused her of leaving him because he gained a few pounds over the years. “I had no idea she was this shallow,” he said somberly while leaving the courtroom. “Apparently she wasn’t serious when we walked down the aisle and she uttered the words ‘for better or worst’. I guess our wedding vows meant nothing to her. Nowadays, you can’t trust anybody. How sad.”
