BREAKING NEWS – Albany, Oregon – Burgerville employees are going to have to express themselves with a little less flair now that the restaurant chain has revised its button policy after several employees came to work wearing political pins, offending some customers. Originally, the small Pacific Northwest burger chain did not have a written policy in place, which led to workers wearing “controversial” pins like “Abolish ICE” and “No one is illegal” while on shift. “Some of our employees have been wearing buttons expressing their political views at work. While Burgerville had a long-standing verbal policy prohibiting the wearing of personal buttons, we did not have a written policy about this,” the company said in a statement. Now the fast food restaurant is creating a policy to keep its facilities “inclusive.” “I have been phoned by several NFL players,” said HR director Liz Graham. “And they told me that I had no right to tell the employees that they couldn’t protest in any manner they chose on any issue they chose, while on the clock. And then they said if I didn’t get involved in whatever our employees perceived as a problem in the local community, it would prove that I condone every social injustice that takes place in our country. After the conversation with them, I concluded that their helmets were doing a substandard job of protecting their brains.”