BREAKING NEWS – Baltimore, Maryland – Baltimore’s embattled Mayor Catherine Pugh has resigned amid state and federal investigations into whether she used bulk sales of her self-published children’s book “Healthy Holly” to disguise kickbacks. “Sorry for the harm that I have caused to the image of the city of Baltimore and to the credibility of the office of the mayor,” Pugh’s attorney Steven Silverman read in a statement from her. “Allegations referring to my mental health is unstable, is without merit,” her letter continued. “And in conclusion, I have backdated my letter of resignation to one week before I took office, to insure that the FBI will not be able to charge me with any of the crimes I committed after I was sworn in. Hopefully this creative legal maneuver will work, even though my attorney and psychiatrist doesn’t think it will.”
