BREAKING NEWS – Atlanta, Georgia – Ratings-challenged CNN is reducing headcount as the network moves into a luxurious new headquarters, leaving some staffers worried in the process. Over 100 CNN employees have already decided to accept a voluntary buyout option, after rumors began circulating that there would be mass layoffs at the network. “There are no mass layoffs at CNN,” explained executive vice president Allison Gollust. “And any employee that refuses the buy out option during this reorganization period, will simply be reassigned to do unpaid interviews of people standing in unemployment lines.”
