BREAKING NEWS – Anchorage, Alaska – The mayor of Anchorage Ethan Berkowitz, wants California to send all of their homeless to his city. “They can send them here by the tens of thousands,” he announced. “And they may be homeless during the summer months, but once winter begins, the homeless issue sort of resolves itself. Out here, there is no record of a tent city in January, and we’re not sure if it’s due to the frigid temperature, or because polar bears have a reputation of attacking staggering winos.”
