BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Joe Biden began pouting and was near tears, when former President Obama held a press conference announcing why he could not with a clear conscience, endorse the former vice president. “Joe is a close and dear friend of mine and he always will be,” Obama began. “But him as president? Are you freakin’ kidding me? Do you have any idea how many times he got lost while walking the halls of the White House? Do you have any idea how often after coming from out of town, this nitwit had to use GPS to find the White House? If he gets elected, his daily moronic decisions will be a reflection on me, because I will be held responsible for nominating this simpleton in the first place!” He paused and scanned the audience in the room, and then looked at a Biden. “That being said, I maintain that Joe is a close and dear friend of mine and he always will be.” With those final words, Biden’s frown then turned into a smile as he reached over and hugged Obama, while saying, “Thanks buddy for your ringing endorsement. I knew you would always have my back.”
