BREAKING NEWS – Yeadon, Pennsylvania – Joe Biden is trying to prove that he is for the common man by having a press conference in an alley. “I want to go where everyday citizens are, that’s why I came here,” he explained. “This is where I can meet town drunks, drug dealers, hookers, and gangbangers to get their opinions on real issues. I can’t just sit back in my mansions, without me going out and try to get the scum and lowlifes to support me in November. I care about them, and I want them to know it.”