BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – A federal judge ruled that New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio and Governor Andrew Cuomo violated the Constitution by restricting religious services to stem the spread of the coronavirus while simultaneously condoning mass protests that took place across the state.

U.S. District Judge Gary Sharpe granted a preliminary injunction blocking New York from enforcing its stringent coronavirus restrictions on religious services. The state’s current restrictions require houses of worship to operate at 25 percent capacity and later at 33 percent capacity when New York enters Phase Four of its re-opening plan.

The mayor and governor responded in a joint letter regarding Sharpe’s ruling. “We couldn’t disagree more,” the letter began. “During the mass protests, people practiced social distancing. If you look at any of the videos, you can see that people kept other people a few feet away, so they could launch bricks, Molotov cocktails, and other projectiles. You need that extra space to throw things, and any baseball fan with an ounce of brains knows that. Even the looters gave each other space when they were exiting stores, because to our knowledge, none of them ran into each other while carrying their stolen merchandise. If that’s not social distancing, we don’t know what is. On the other hand, people sitting in pews with their heads bent down mumbling a prayer and breathing in the same direction, could easily spread the virus. Looters and rioters probably prayed too, but it was outside. And their prayers were answered, because the District Attorney decided not to prosecute any of them.”