BREAKING NEWS – Tripoli, Libya – To the surprise of many, Muammar al-Qaddafi kept a photo album filled with pictures of former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, with notations that he loved her very much. Rice responded to this discovery by stating that the apparent attraction was not mutual. And she would not get closer than three feet of him because he stunk so bad, wreaking of gun powder, camels, and urine. She added that if she got any closer than three feet, her eyes would tear up.