BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan held his hands up and stood motionless in fear, as several unnamed democrats wearing masks pointed guns at him demanding that he encouraged other republicans into passing Obama’s current budget plan. The gun wielding politicians promptly fled after they heard sirens outside the building. Washington, D.C. police and the FBI, state that Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi is a person of interest after she unexpectedly moved to Canada, and a ski mask dropped outside of Capitol Hill had traces of Botox.