BREAKING NEWS – Phoenix, Arizona – A priest has resigned from a Catholic church in Phoenix, Arizona, after it was determined he incorrectly performed thousands of baptisms for decades by changing one word.

Father Andres Arango resigned from St. Gregory Catholic Church in Phoenix after it was determined he used the words “We baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” instead of the correct phrase “I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” according to Thomas J. Olmsted, the bishop of the Diocese of Phoenix.

Arango later commented on his resignation. “I reluctantly left,” he began. “I still don’t see what the big deal was. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to say ‘We’ baptize you, instead of ‘I’. I have the power to forgive sins, just like God, or the church wouldn’t have built that confession booth where I regularly have to listen to some pretty sickening things. Besides, the mistake I made does not compare to some of the things I’ve heard from an endless line of people which includes creepy perverts, with some of them being priests.”