BREAKING NEWS – Minneapolis, Minnesota – PETA is now accusing Dairy Queen of exploiting cows, due to the fast food chain’s dependence on whipped cream, ice cream, milk shakes, etc., plus ground beef.

CEO of Dairy Queen Troy Bader responded to PETA’s accusation.

“Exploitation? I think not,” explained Bader. “In fact, we are going to become even more efficient concerning cows to show we don’t waste anything. So effective later this year, we’ll be selling at our restaurants, jackets, purses, and shoes made out of leather.”