BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – President Biden is still testing positive for COVID-19 and will continue his “strict isolation measures,” said the White House physician.

Dr. Kevin C. O’Connor said the president “continues to feel very well,” and said his cough has “almost completely resolved.”

According to White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, his staff is emphatic that he should be quarantined for at least two and a half years.