BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Toys R Us, the beloved children’s toy store, is officially back inside Macy’s locations in 9 states, with more “coming soon.”

The retailer did a Christmas in July-type announcement, saying “all locations will be complete by October 15, just in time for parents to buy our overpriced toys for their ungrateful children that will grow up to be worthless ‘entitled’ losers.”