BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The attorney general of Washington D.C. unveiled a grant program to tackle what the city officials have dubbed a “humanitarian crisis” over the busing of thousands of migrants from Texas and Arizona.

Attorney General Karl Racine’s office says it recognizes the current situation, which has seen thousands of migrants sent to the city, “as a risk to public safety and [a] humanitarian crisis requiring immediate financial assistance to local non-profits whose resources are being stretched.”

Texas and Arizona have sent thousands of migrants to the nation’s capital since the Spring. Texas Gov. Greg Abbott recently said voters in Texas are “fed up” with the chaos at the border under the Biden administration.

“The solution to the problem is simple,” explained Racine. “As the buses are close to leaving Texas and Arizona, we have hired snipers to shoot out the tires so they are stranded at both places. If this happens often enough, we believe Greyhound will do a cost analysis, and determine they are writing way too many checks to Goodyear and Firestone.”