BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Biden averaged nearly a gaffe per workday over the past four weeks, errors that included mispronunciations, confusion, inaccuracies, and forgetting that a congresswoman had died.

Biden is hitting .810 from September 26 to October 24, committing at least 17 gaffes.

Once he heard about these numbers, he responded in a tweet. “I’m hitting at .810? I’m sure no one in Major Leage Baseball is remotely close to that. Maybe after I retire from politics, I’ll give Babe Ruth a call, and he’ll assist me into participating in spring training with the New York Knicks.”