BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Biden touted that his administration is looking get rid of the “junk fees” that make roomier airline seats more expensive and thus “unfair” to “people of color.”

“It especially hurts black people,” explained Biden. “Black people need roomier seats because they have wider butts than other races. They should have wider seats for comfort, however making them pay junk fees is clearly genetic discrimination for black women, since out of all the races, they have the most junk in their trunk… by far.”