BREAKING NEWS – Des Moines, Iowa – Vice President Kamala Harris unfortunately witnessed her alma mater, Howard University, lose to defending NCAA men’s basketball national champion Kansas on Thursday, 96-68.

After the game, the vice president got a chance to give the downtrodden Bison a pep talk in their locker room after their loss.

“You played hard. You played to the very last second. You made all us Bison proud,” she said. “You are smart. You are disciplined. And you showed a certain amount of admirable pride during that blowout/humiliation. Now, the press is going to want to talk to you guys when you leave this locker room, and I am going to teach you some basic fundamentals on how to dodge legit questions by the press, because that’s my area of expertise.”