BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Biden’s newest shoes have opened up renewed debate about his health and physical condition, with some speculating they were designed to prevent the president from falling.

“Biden’s handlers are forcing him to wear a new pair of ‘lifestyle sneakers’ because he trips so much,” reads a tweet from RNC Research on Saturday, referring to Biden’s new shoes.

“The shoes worked great, and we’re confident he’ll never fall again!” said a source from the White House. “We feel confident, because we tested them on every well-known wobbly town drunk in D.C.”