BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The expansive investigation into Russia collusion with President Trump associates has grown so vast, that committees and federal agencies are now examining some offshoot of the controversy. No fewer than 9 teams investigating collusion and they continue to come up with nothing. DNC Chair Tom Perez lays the blame at the feet of President Trump. “There is no way around it, this is all his fault,” he began. “He campaigned on being fiscally responsible, yet he is allowing these costly investigations to continue when he knows darn well there was no collusion. He is costing taxpayers millions of dollars and making members of my party look like a bunch of idiots. He should either resign, or issue a public apology to every moronic democrat looking for a Russian connection, that has privately admitted to me that they feel like an imbecile.”