Dear Blake,
I’m a 26-year-old male in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, who is 18. I love her to the moon and back, but I feel like she only stays with me because I can buy her things. She gets upset with me when I don’t get them for her. She says I value my mother and others before her.
I love her so much, and I want to marry her. I’m a minister at a church. She thinks she should take priority before my bills and taking care of my mother, who can barely walk. What do I do?
Signed, Roscoe
From Chicago, Illinois
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Dear Roscoe,
Your new girlfriend comes off as being a spoiled brat. So as a minister, you should be using the bible to straighten out that ungrateful money grubbing heathen. Here are some theological options I think you should entertain. Tell her that the love of money is the root of all evil, and fortunately for her she won’t need a good credit score in hell. Or, tell her that she cannot serve two master (cards) because she’ll love one and skip the payments of the other. It’s also possible like Samson and Delilah, she’s searching for your source of strength, either that or your ATM number. And finally, in the 5th chapter of John, Jesus healed a man told him to pick up his mat and walk. Tell your girlfriend, if she wants more of your time, to heal your mother’s inability to walk… and then tell your lady friend/bimbo, that you are picking up your mat at your front door, because she is no longer “welcome”. I hope this helps.
Blake