Dear Blake,

I met the love of my life eight months ago. Everything about our relationship is perfect. We both love our families, fine food, games, and most importantly, each other. We met at an antique store and now have an extensive stamp collection together. Wanting this joy to last forever, I proposed to her. I couldn’t imagine a happier life for both of us, until I discovered that she is already engaged. Her mother informed me that she had accepted another proposal months ago. At first I was devastated, but now I understand the situation. She felt obligated to accept his proposal, yet I know she will only find true happiness by marrying me. How do I go about bringing this up to her? I’m very non-confrontational, and don’t want her to feel awkward or uncomfortable. Please help.

Signed, Daniel

From Allentown, Pennsylvania

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Dear Daniel,

It sounds to me as if your relationship is genuinely “complicated”. I’m also assuming that you are attracted to her because she is gorgeous, because intellectually, she sounds stupid. Ok, here’s some things I think you should consider. It’s possible she may want to wait until you have had a couple of glasses of wine so you’ll be more relaxed before she informs you about her previous proposal. And she’ll probably tell you all about it at the reception after her wedding, that you’ll crash. Or, she may be one of those women that wants multiple husbands, in which I believe is called, “reverse Mormonism/prostitution”. It’s also possible, she might be one of those devious women that wants to see you and her other man get into a fight, where both of you are seriously injured and hospitalized, so she can determine which one of you can give her the best medical coverage. However, your biggest problem is the one you failed to see. If she has difficulty saying “no” to a man, this will cause some major problems in your potential marriage down the road. But to play it safe, if she picks you, after you marry her, have her tested for STDs at least twice a week. I hope this helps.