It was a family tradition for my parents to take me and my siblings to the mall during the holiday season to sit on Santa Claus’ lap. On this day, the line was extremely long and we waited for nearly two hours. After my sister finished telling Santa what she wanted, my father picked me up and put me on his lap.

“Ho ho ho” Santa said with a jolly smile. “What would you like for Christmas?”

I smiled back and said, “I’m trying to remember the brand.”

“Santa knows the brand of all toys” he said with a chuckle.

I responded by saying, “I’m not trying to remember the brand of a toy. I’m trying to remember the brand of whiskey I smell on your breath. “

My parents grounded me for almost a year.