PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS (ASSUMING YOU LIKE REALLY BAD ADVICE) ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!
The first job I ever had, was working at McDonald’s. One day I made a hamburger that was so perfect, I broke into tears. My supervisor saw how emotional I was getting, approached me and said that it was no big deal. I responded by saying, “it’s my patty and I’ll cry if I want to”. Yeah, whatever.