When I awoke from a short nap on Valentine’s Day a few years ago, I noticed outside my window around ten cupids. As they were floating by, with their wings softly fluttering and carrying bows and arrows, I assumed they were out to spread love. However, when they saw me, they started using profanity, calling me several vulgar names that I don’t care to repeat. And then one of them shot an arrow at me that missed my head by inches.

It’s now official. Gangs are everywhere.