I will never go on another blind date. Never! Yesterday I went out with this really attractive woman, that I was told would light up a room every time she enters one, and that’s exactly what happened when she came over to my place. To my misfortune, she would light up a room alright, because she was an arsonist that was out on parole. We went out to dinner and a movie, but I wouldn’t hold her hand until she gave me a sincere apology for burning my house to the ground.