COMMENTARY: I was considering travelling to the place where there is the highest concentration of my relatives for Christmas, but I changed my mind because […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – How would you feel if on Judgment Day, someone was selling video tapes with all of the disgusting things you’ve done in your life?
COMMENTARY: If I could get at least 30% of the profits, I could probably deal with the embarrassment. Either way, I would avoid everyone that […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think it’s unmanly for a man to scream at a scary movie?
COMMENTARY: I told a lady friend of mine that I never saw the movie “The Exorcist”. She bet me $20.00 that if saw that movie […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What was your most memorable Thanksgiving?
COMMENTARY: When I was around 12, both of my parents got laid off from their jobs. They couldn’t afford a turkey, so because of the […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you plan on going anywhere for Thanksgiving, or were you conned into cooking for your friends, family, and other losers?
COMMENTARY: Fortunately for me, when I was younger most of my relatives moved to the tropics, to a place called Rikers Island. I think that’s […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – For $100,000.00 would you walk around for an entire year with a brightly colored tattoo on your forehead of a commercial endorsement?
COMMENTARY: As long as I wasn’t promoting the Yankees, the Lakers or any feminine products, I would probably do it.
Wacky Weekend Questions – How do you think relationships would change, if starting tomorrow, women were able to impregnate men instead of the other way around?
COMMENTARY: If it were to ever happen, when people see men with beer bellies, that won’t be able to tell if it was from guzzling […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What are some things you’re embarassed to admit that you enjoy?
I am a little ashamed, but here are five: 1. A heated political race with plenty of mudslinging. 2. A senior citizen getting a speeding […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Out of all the animals God created on the sixth day, what do you think is the strangest one?
COMMENTARY: For me by far, it’s the platypus. It appears to have been made from the spare parts of other animals. It has a bill […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a law that would permanently ban interracial marriages in October between witches and goblins?
COMMENTARY: I would not ban them, because of the possibility of how hideous their baby would look. I would pay money to look at the […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Because women over sixty are now being impregnated through artificial insemination, would you support a law that would limit the age of a woman that could bear children?
COMMENTARY: I personally feel that if a woman is using a walker, while pushing her one year old child that’s in a stroller, then she’s way too old to […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Is this the only time of the year that you’re secretly jealous of some of your extremely ugly friends, because in this economy they don’t have to squander money on masks for Halloween parties?
COMMENTARY: Personally, during the month of October, I’m always a little jealous of my big-headed snaggletooth uncle, who looks exactly like a jack-o-lantern.
Wacky Weekend Questions – How will God deal with people who believe in the laughable theory of evolution instead of creation and the teachings of the bible, on Judgment Day?
If God has a sense of humor similar to mine, the evolutionist will be standing in a large dark enclosed room. And God in his […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What are some possible headlines from major newspapers, the day after the rapture?
1. NEW YORK TIMES “City in disarray as 17% of the population disappear”. 2. CHICAGO TRIBUNE “Nearly 20% of the people are missing”. 3. LOS […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you adopt a child, and later find out that the he or she is a disrespectful boneheaded loser, should you be able to return the child and get a full refund?
COMMENTATRY: As I understand, many adoption agencies will allow you to return some of these brats with a full refund, but most will charge you […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you accept an all expense paid vacation to Vermont in the fall to see it’s legendary beautiful foliage, if everyday you were there you had to eat a bowlful of crisp colorful leaves?
COMMENTARY: I probably would if they were covered with some of their maple syrup. (It can’t be any worst that my ex-wife’s cooking).
Wacky Weekend Questions – What do you think we should do about inmates that “may” be wrongfully convicted?
COMMENTARY: To avoid corrupting good decent people, I think the most fair and reasonable thing to do is to divide the prisons in half. One […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If your house caught on fire in the middle of the night, and you had only thirty seconds to get out, what would you take?
COMMENTARY: If it was when I was still married, I probably would have taken a pen and paper, so I could make a list of […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Why is the often visited building in Washington, D.C. called the “Air and Space Museum” since in actuality, they really have a variety of things inside?
COMMENTARY: It’s just another clear example of the federal government trying to mislead the public.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Between Blacks, Latinos and Asians, who can strip a car the fastest?
COMMENTARY: The results should be pretty close, but we know whites can repossess them the fastest. Those greedy ruthless #*%*&#*!!!!!
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think marriage certificates should have warning labels?
COMMENTARY: They certainly should! They have them on cigarettes! And both cancer and marriage can be a slow torturous death.
Wacky Weekend Questions – What do you think the appropriate penalty should be for people who get caught entering the United States illegally?
COMMENTARY: Considering the current sad state of this country, probably the worst punishment would be to force them to stay here.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Should we lower the legal age for drinking from 21 to 6?
COMMENTARY: Absolutely we should! With all the DUI’s across the nation, something drastic has to be done. I think we should be able to train […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you had the power to invoke capital punishment other than for premeditated murder, what would it be?
COMMENTARY: For me, it would be for people that drive for miles with their turn signals on, and don’t turn. I can’t count the times […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you be willing to work every other year for free over the next 10 years, if it meant it would get the United States out of debt?
COMMENTARY: If that’s what it takes, I’d rather be a communist.
Wacky Weekend Questions – How much whiskey would you have to drink before you’d consider remarrying a former spouse?
COMMENTARY: For me, it would have to be enough to fill at least three of the five Great Lakes?
Wacky Weekend Questions – On a blind date, how do you determine if you want to see them a second time?
COMMENTARY: What I have been doing is making them fill out a dating/relationship questionnaire, and I would be able to tell by their responses if […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – In reference to the recent earthquake in Washington, D.C., do you think it was a simple case of the earth shifting, or was it God telling the politicians out there to GET IT TOGETHER?!?!
COMMENTARY: I think if God threw a couple of lightning bolts hitting the Capital Building, that would be a nice touch too.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you feel uncomfortable if you found out that your next door neighbor who just moved to this country used to be a cannibal?
COMMENTARY: It would only bother me if he sprinkled some seasoning on my hand after he shook it.
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you could go back into time and you were a multi-millionaire in the early 1900’s, who would you give an all expense paid trip from England to the United States on the maiden voyage of the Titanic?
COMMENTARY: This is an easy one for me. It would be this lady that dumped me last year. But just as an extra precaution, I […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – If you accidentally hit somebody’s car, and they’re not around, should you leave a bogus name or a bogus address on their windshield?
COMMENTARY: I say it depends on the year and make of the car. If it is an old raggedy jalopy, don’t leave anything. Mainly because, […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a law that allows voters to demote elected officials if they feel they are doing a substandard job? (Examples: Demote a governor to a mayor, a president to a senator, a senator to a congressman, etc.)
COMMENTARY: I like this idea. Political problems all around the country will get solved in hours rather than years.
Wacky Weekend Questions – What are you doing during this tough economic time to save money?
COMMENTARY: I now only rob convenience stores that are in my neighborhood. Even though I know it’s a possibility I might get recognized, it’s important […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What do you think God was doing before he created humans?
COMMENTARY: I think He was probably creating a special place in hell for people that ask such idiotic questions (excluding me… I hope).
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you think going to college is overrated?
COMMENTARY: I say, absolutely! It’s cheaper to be stupid. I know I saved my parents a lot of money. (I probably shouldn’t be bragging about […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you support a federal law that goes into effect immediately, that would allow citizens from each state to hang one congressman or senator weekly from each party, until a budget is finally passed?
COMMENTARY: Bipartisan lynchings. This is what makes this country great!!!
Wacky Weekend Questions – Would you mind if your homeowners insurance went up 25%, if you were allowed to install a trap door under your welcome mat as a way to deal with uninvited guests?
COMMENTARY: If I could add a few hungry alligators beneath the trap door, and the insurance still didn’t exceed 25%, I’m all for it.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Ladies, during a catfight, are there some unwritten rules on the proper and respectful way to yank out the opposition’s hair extensions?
COMMENTARY: I knew of one lady who told the lady she’s was fighting that she felt awful about yanking out her extensions. However, her statement […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – With all the zaininess involved in courtships, what was your most memorable date?
COMMENTARY: I went out on a blind date with this woman that went on and on about how woman are equal to men in every […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – In the 1960’s on back, teachers were allowed to initiate corporal punishment on students with rulers and paddles. Would you consider again giving teachers this authority, but now allowing them to use rubber hoses and baseball bats on some of these young punks?
COMMENTARY: If it improved their grade point average, I don’t have a problem with broken bones and fractured skulls.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Between Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles, which city do you think has the biggest rats?
COMMENTARY: Keep in mind the question refers to rodents only, and not politicians.
Wacky Weekend Questions – What’s the difference between downloading and uploading?
COMMENTARY: When you download something, you’re sitting at your computer, and when you upload something, you’re standing in front of your computer. Also when you […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – What’s the big deal with “internal bleeding?”
COMMENTARY: If it’s not leaking anywhere and remains in the body, why is this considered to be a problem? This is just another example of […]
Wacky Weekend Questions – For sports fans, during the NFL season, should Christians only root for the Saints? If yes, what do you think of college basketball fans that root the Duke Blue Demons?
COMMENTARY: Being from Chicago, I have prayed for years for the Cubs to win the World Series. I’m assuming God doesn’t follow baseball.
Wacky Weekend Questions – If the state and federal government permitted it once a year, who would you like to strangle?
COMMENTARY: If that were to ever happen, my former mother-in-law better have a dead bolt lock on her front door.
Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you have a former close friend that you would love to see in the middle of the ocean on a cheap raft?
COMMENTARY: If no, would you change your mind if the bottom of the raft had some insulting comments about sharks, that was written in blood?
Wacky Weekend Questions – During an election year, if a person cannot answer basic political questions, should they be banned from the booth because are simply too stupid to vote?
COMMENTARY: I wonder which party would complain the most if such a law was passed. (To be honest, I think I know which one would).
Wacky Weekend Questions – Between the beautiful beachfront homes on the east coast and the west coast, which owners are typically the most arrogant?
COMMENTARY: The west coast owners are some of the most arrogant people in the world, second only to the residents in France. The east coast […]