BREAKING NEWS – Pyongyang, North Korea – Becoming more desperate after China imposed sanctions against North Korea, and to show he is superior to the United States, Kim Jong Un challenged President Trump to a pie eating contest. “He knows nothing about toppings. He knows nothing about desserts,” the dictator explained. “The American holiday ‘Thanksgiving’ is coming up soon, and he and I can sit down at a dinner table to determine who the better man is. In one sitting, I will consume an entire turkey, all of the side dishes, plus the cooking utensils, excluding plastic forks because they aren’t biodegradable.”