Dear Blake,

I ran into a friend at the chiropractor’s, and he persuaded me to change my plans and not go to the movies but to join him on a walk on the beach. We set plans to meet by the beach and, as I was approaching the street corner, I saw him not wait for me but cross the street while he was on his phone.

When I finally caught up with him, he was chatting with a mutual friend. There was nothing urgent about the call, but he stayed on his phone. I asked repeatedly, “Are you really planning to stay on your phone while we’re going on this walk?” I know he heard me, and our mutual friend on the phone heard me. He continued to talk, so I turned around and left.

I thought he was extremely rude and I deserve an apology. I also think the person on the phone with him should apologize as well. The thing about this friend is, he never apologizes for anything. What do I do now?

Signed, Stephanie
From Dallas, Texas

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Dear Stephanie,

What your friend did was very rude. As I see it, your only course of action is to pay him back… on steroids. Here are some ideas. Get him in your car, and if his phone rings, turn your radio up as high as it will go, preferably playing some music that he can’ stand. Or, invite him over to your place to watch a movie that he is highly anticipating, and then put the flick on pause every couple of minutes, just so you can share an extended rant of what happened in the plot so far. Or this idea. Invite him to meet a really attractive girl (you secretly paid) on a blind date, that you said would be perfect for him. When she arrives, flirt with her nonstop, and then leave with her holding hands while exchanging romantic glances. And lastly, this suggestion. Treat him to concert tickets of his favorite singer or group, and on the day of the concert, tell him you sold his tickets, because you needed the extra money to buy some new clothes, so you’ll look really good… at the concert. I hope this helps.