Dear Blake,

When a daughter is getting married, how do divorced parents sit, walk down the aisle and conduct themselves?

Signed, Abigail
From Baton, Rouge

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Dear Abigail,

I am getting the impression that your parents are not on good terms, and probably wants to lash out at each other. So, to let them get it out of their system, by encouraging them to humiliate out at each other, preferably in front of as many guests as possible to maximize the embarrassment factor. Here are some suggestions. Have your mom and dad compare careers of their new soulmates. And try to get the divorced parent with the new person in their life making the most money, to tell their ex that they married an uneducated loser that looks penniless and hungry. Or, to get your father riled up, ask him if your mom ever told him that you’re not biologically his, and she said your real dad is one of five men. Or this idea. Tell your mom that your father often tried to date a lot of your friends when you were in high school, and he really preferred freshman. And lastly, this option. Suggesting that they sit together may have a calming effect on both of them, which might cause them to be very respectful toward each other. On the other hand, it may cause them to reflect on the past, and with great hostility, blame each for getting intimate on the night they conceived the likes of you. I hope this helps.

Blake