Dear Blake,

I have four children, but I am home schooling my youngest child. The other three are in public schools. Initially I thought it was a good idea, but now I am having second thoughts. I realize that he is being denied interaction with his peers so he can learn social graces. Plus he has no friends to help him understand the basics of a relationship. I’m torn. What do you think I should do?

Signed, Debra

From Chicago, Illinois

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Dear Debra,

An increasing amount of parents are opting for home schooling instead of mainstream education. But living in Chicago, I would strongly encourage you to teach him the most important lesson, survival of the fittest. It’s imperative that he learns what it’s like to be in a public school, so you should have his older siblings beat him up once a week. Tell your son to be objective and analytical when he becomes a teenager, so he can determine which gang is best suited for him. When he becomes 16, because he’s not in school taking drivers ed, you must teach him yourself how to safely operate a motor vehicle, so he will be well prepared for his first carjacking. One last thing. Make sure he exercises regularly as if he’s in a gym class. So when the time comes, he’ll have the stamina to elude the police on foot. Also include swimming lessons, just in case law enforcement is pursuing him near Lake Michigan. I hope this helps.